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Oct 15, 2024

I'm Not Selfish, I'm Just Dumb | Barstool Sports

Yesterday’s stream was a tough one for the boy. I was catching shots from all directions—front, back, you name it. At times, it felt like the entire cave had turned against me. In fact, it did at one

Yesterday’s stream was a tough one for the boy. I was catching shots from all directions—front, back, you name it. At times, it felt like the entire cave had turned against me. In fact, it did at one point.

Yesterday will go down in history as “Shit on Smokes Day.” And look, I get it—I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. But what you see is what you get. There’s no act, no bit. It’s just me, for better or worse. And yesterday? It was definitely for worse.

I had the Browns +9, and Big Cat had the over. For context, I bet the whole NFL board, and my only winners were the Browns and Bengals. So yeah, I was already in rough shape. Then, the Eagles were up by four and dialed up a deep shot to A.J. Brown on 2nd and 11 with 1:50 left. He caught it inside the 10-yard line, and my first thought was, “Oh great, I’m about to get fucked.” Fair, right? Considering I’d already lost all my 1:00 bets. So I asked the cave, “Are they going to try and score a touchdown?”

Little did I know that one innocent question would paint me as the most selfish guy in the room. And let me set the record straight: I’m not selfish—I’m just dumb. Big Cat is a walking sports-betting calculator. He knows whether your bet is dead before you’ve even finished asking. Me? I couldn’t tell you if my bet is dead or alive to save my life. I’m the guy pulling out a calculator at halftime, trying to figure out how many points I need in the second half to hit the over.

I’ve never pretended to be smart—I know exactly what I am. And while I may be dumb, selfish I am not. Honestly, though, when it comes to betting, everyone is selfish. We all want to hit our bets, plain and simple.

But hey, the damage is done. The Nicky Smokes Hate Club was out in full force yesterday. I’ll take my L like a man and study hard for next week’s stream.

God bless you all.